My acquaintances, bless their hearts, between bites of food and sips of diet sodas, preoccupied themselves with the task of not-so-discreetly trying to set me up with some random guy who joined our table. As well-meaning as I'm sure they were, the fact that "you're both recent graduates" falls short of convincing me I should date a man I've never seen in life before now. And considering how quickly we all breezed through introductions, I'm sure many of the women I was with were meeting him for the first time as well. Can't remember his name (or why he was even there for that matter), but he seemed nice enough.
There I sat, grinning stupidly through embarrassing inquiries about my relationship status as my would-be matchmakers glanced eagerly between me and the gentleman.
"Do you have a boyfriend, Eboni?"
"Well, would you like one?"
Nervous chuckle, "Ha ha, um. Not really looking right now..."
"Well, you know...everyone could use a friend. There's nothing wrong with having friends!"
"Y'all should exchange numbers!"
SILENCE, followed by yet more nervous laughter.
"Yeah...so, how 'bout them Cowboys?"
After about 3 minutes of strategically placed winks, double entendres, and nervous laughter I realized I couldn't sink any lower in my chair without disappearing under the table.
He must've sensed my unease because he started passing around pictures of his 10-month old daughter (thank you, Jesus!). But wait a minute...Cute kids aside, if I do some quick math that means that a year and a half ago you were presumably in a relationship with this gorgeous little gal's mom...who you aren't with now. Yet you have a child together...
Now, I understand that things happen between adults sometimes. However, understand that the fact that you have created a climate of potential baby mama drama isn't exactly a selling point for me. Sorry.
He departed soon after -- without my phone number nor offering his. Nice guy, but hardly the appropriate circumstances to spark a love connection under.
My pseudo-matchmakers voiced their disappointment. There was even a "Girl, if you don't want him, I'm all over that!!" I guess what really took me aback was the rationale they used to "sell" him to me.
- He's attractive (totally subjective).
- He has a job.
Let's examine some of the underlying implications from this encounter:
- Single, black women are not that way by choice (single - and black, I guess, too lol)
- We need a man. Not just any man...but hey, if you got a job you'll do.
- I am single BY CHOICE.
- Contrary to popular belief, black men are NOT an endangered species. I'm not nearly desperate enough to date just anyone just because they come highly recommended (i.e. have a job) or sit down across the table from me.
Talk about hooplah.