Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Eligible Black Men - Get 'Em While They're HOT!

I had the rare pleasure of dining out with some lovely ladies I volunteer with last week. I was quite obviously the youngest person there (I should probably get used to this occurrence). Nevertheless, I had a great time with some great women, while eating some less-than-great loaded baked potato soup. There was just one, small hiccup.

My acquaintances, bless their hearts, between bites of food and sips of diet sodas, preoccupied themselves with the task of not-so-discreetly trying to set me up with some random guy who joined our table. As well-meaning as I'm sure they were, the fact that "you're both recent graduates" falls short of convincing me I should date a man I've never seen in life before now. And considering how quickly we all breezed through introductions, I'm sure many of the women I was with were meeting him for the first time as well. Can't remember his name (or why he was even there for that matter), but he seemed nice enough.

There I sat, grinning stupidly through embarrassing inquiries about my relationship status as my would-be matchmakers glanced eagerly between me and the gentleman.

"Do you have a boyfriend, Eboni?"
"Uh...not exactly."
"Well, would you like one?"
Nervous chuckle, "Ha ha, um. Not really looking right now..."
"Well, you know...everyone could use a friend. There's nothing wrong with having friends!"
"Ha ha...yeah...sure..."
"Y'all should exchange numbers!"
SILENCE, followed by yet more nervous laughter.
"Yeah...so, how 'bout them Cowboys?"

 After about 3 minutes of strategically placed winks, double entendres, and nervous laughter I realized I couldn't sink any lower in my chair without disappearing under the table.

He must've sensed my unease because he started passing around pictures of his 10-month old daughter (thank you, Jesus!). But wait a minute...Cute kids aside, if I do some quick math that means that a year and a half ago you were presumably in a relationship with this gorgeous little gal's mom...who you aren't with now. Yet you have a child together...

Now, I understand that things happen between adults sometimes. However, understand that the fact that you have created a climate of potential baby mama drama isn't exactly a selling point for me. Sorry.

He departed soon after -- without my phone number nor offering his. Nice guy, but hardly the appropriate circumstances to spark a love connection under.

My pseudo-matchmakers voiced their disappointment. There was even a "Girl, if you don't want him, I'm all over that!!" I guess what really took me aback was the rationale they used to "sell" him to me.

  1. He's attractive (totally subjective).
  2. He has a job.
Hm...great qualities, but...is that it? Ladies, I love our black men as much as the next woman but, come on! We've gotta raise the bar! If these are the only prerequisites for mate selection, retirees and recent college grads are in trouble.

Let's examine some of the underlying implications from this encounter:
  • Single, black women are not that way by choice (single - and black, I guess, too lol)
  • We need a man. Not just any man...but hey, if you got a job you'll do.

Reality check:
  • I am single BY CHOICE.
  • Contrary to popular belief, black men are NOT an endangered species. I'm not nearly desperate enough to date just anyone just because they come highly recommended (i.e. have a job) or sit down across the table from me.

Talk about hooplah.

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