Poetetics Fun with The Fro Choice Movement: Humble Beginnings/Throw Backs!

*This was written long ago, during the zenith of my teen angst. There's nothing quite like unrequited love to get the creative juices flowing! Enjoy! And there's more to come!*


Reactionary Logic


I wish I knew your thoughts and your soul to me you bore,
That our minds and bodies merged within your dreams.
Should mine be the misconception, it shall lead my heart to bleed
Yet still I long to be the Siren of your slumber's sleepy shore.


Your dark eyes haunt my waking thoughts, they set my soul aflutter...
But what good can come of such infatuations? 
Only sorrow. And to Love? It brings a sour connotation. 
This heart sputtered, stopped, then shuddered - you professed Love to another.


"Sweet nothings" from your lips my ears never shall receive,
Though by Chance or Destiny I cannot say.
A week? 
A month?

 A year?

How can I go another day?

Barely sustained by the hopes of my most desperate need.

O, how these irreverent musings come to be.

"All's fair in Love and War" the cliche goes.

Vowing never to again allow my love to cause my woes,
I've locked and chained my heart up tight and thrown away the key.

Random Rant of the Day #1

I don't know if you've noticed, but there has recently been a surge of young women hoping to break into the modeling industry. Nothing really wrong with that, right? But when your "professional" portfolio is completely comprised of scantily-clad booty shots, you may be sending the wrong message. I can tell you "professional" is definitely not one of them.

Keep it classy, ladies. The androcentric hypersexualization of women (and ethnic women especially) loses its luster after a while...as shall you. 

Poetetics Fun with The Fro Choice Movement: Suffer the Little Children

Suffer the Little Children

I open my eyes and see suffering.

Eyes pleading

Mouths grotesquely contorted

Faces wet and shining

I see suffering

Suffering for salvation of a select few

O Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

Try and change the station, but to no avail

For you, no bailout will be posted.

Your soul composted, to fertilize the seeds of new dollar trees

Tears irrigate, sustaining pantomimed debate

Inflation rate rising

Body count rising

Politicians disguising

The veil we live behind and within

As we’ve yet to transcend our aspirations for material greatness

Forsaking the divine, caught in the pantomime of dollars and cents

Forgetting our senses

Unable to sense the scent of bullshit

As our nostrils fill with the intoxicating aroma of lily white lies

Inhale, exhale

Intoxicating

Intoxicating

It’s toxic, hating.

Yet we are angry

We are the bitterly broken beasts of burden

Beholden to bear the brunt of yesterdays’ misfortunes

Gazing anxiously skyward

Unable to see the stars so we wish on the clouds

Praying new rain brings forth a new beginning

Gently washing the dust from our wings

That we may rise like sparrows lost in a song of our own creation.

Emerging transposed

Transformed

Reborn

Emerging whole.

Emerging into ourselves

Blurring the division between metaphysics and “reality”

Allowing our consciousness to become our conscience

Bound no more. 

Poetetics Fun with The Fro Choice Movement

I Be Dat Poet (Inspired by Waterloo's own SaYes2Poetry)

I be dat Poet…

Lyrically, linguistically

Steadily assaulting you phonetically

Coming for your mind - 

Once, twice, three times at least

I be dat Poet

Fluent;

Not like hablo Español

More like capable of flowing

Yes, yes y’all,

I be dat Poet

Inclined to rhyme from time to time

Interlacing thoughts with ink

To stimulate your mind

To redefine

Common conceptions

Forcing synapse connections

Peace, Love, and Blessings all the while

I be dat Poet.

Always leading never following

Constantly demolishing

The status-quo

Ya know?

I be dat Poet.

Fro Choice.

Check me out

I be dat Voice.

Can you feel me?

If not you’ll soon find it’s all in the delivery.

It’s Fluent on the mic

Please, commit it to memory.

Verbally, 

I THINK, therefore I BE dat Poet.

Eligible Black Men - Get 'Em While They're HOT!

I had the rare pleasure of dining out with some lovely ladies I volunteer with last week. I was quite obviously the youngest person there (I should probably get used to this occurrence). Nevertheless, I had a great time with some great women, while eating some less-than-great loaded baked potato soup. There was just one, small hiccup.

My acquaintances, bless their hearts, between bites of food and sips of diet sodas, preoccupied themselves with the task of not-so-discreetly trying to set me up with some random guy who joined our table. As well-meaning as I'm sure they were, the fact that "you're both recent graduates" falls short of convincing me I should date a man I've never seen in life before now. And considering how quickly we all breezed through introductions, I'm sure many of the women I was with were meeting him for the first time as well. Can't remember his name (or why he was even there for that matter), but he seemed nice enough.

There I sat, grinning stupidly through embarrassing inquiries about my relationship status as my would-be matchmakers glanced eagerly between me and the gentleman.

"Do you have a boyfriend, Eboni?"
"Uh...not exactly."
"Well, would you like one?"
Nervous chuckle, "Ha ha, um. Not really looking right now..."
"Well, you know...everyone could use a friend. There's nothing wrong with having friends!"
"Ha ha...yeah...sure..."
"Y'all should exchange numbers!"
SILENCE, followed by yet more nervous laughter.
"Yeah...so, how 'bout them Cowboys?"

 After about 3 minutes of strategically placed winks, double entendres, and nervous laughter I realized I couldn't sink any lower in my chair without disappearing under the table.

He must've sensed my unease because he started passing around pictures of his 10-month old daughter (thank you, Jesus!). But wait a minute...Cute kids aside, if I do some quick math that means that a year and a half ago you were presumably in a relationship with this gorgeous little gal's mom...who you aren't with now. Yet you have a child together...

Now, I understand that things happen between adults sometimes. However, understand that the fact that you have created a climate of potential baby mama drama isn't exactly a selling point for me. Sorry.

He departed soon after -- without my phone number nor offering his. Nice guy, but hardly the appropriate circumstances to spark a love connection under.

My pseudo-matchmakers voiced their disappointment. There was even a "Girl, if you don't want him, I'm all over that!!" I guess what really took me aback was the rationale they used to "sell" him to me.

1. He's attractive (totally subjective).
2. He has a job.

Hm...great qualities, but...is that it? Ladies, I love our black men as much as the next woman but, come on! We've gotta raise the bar! If these are the only prerequisites for mate selection, retirees and recent college grads are in trouble.

Let's examine some of the underlying implications from this encounter:

• Single, black women are not that way by choice (single - and black, I guess, too lol)
• We need a man. Not just any man...but hey, if you got a job you'll do.

Reality check:

• I am single BY CHOICE.
• Contrary to popular belief, black men are NOT an endangered species. I'm not nearly desperate enough to date just anyone just because they come highly recommended (i.e. have a job) or sit down across the table from me.

Talk about hooplah.

No Homo

So, let's be honest for a moment. I've heard it. You've heard it. We're all probably guilty of saying it at least once. Yes ladies and gents, I'm speaking of the proliferation of the ever-ubiquitous sexual disclaimer, "no homo." Always good for a laugh or two...or three. Right? But have you ever asked yourself whose expense these cheap laughs come at?

And for what? All so you can dispel any suppositions (be they real or imaginary) about your heterosexuality? Surely that's a completely legitimate reason to degrade an entire group of people? This "no homo" phenomenon has really permeated nearly all levels of youth culture. Is this what we've come to represent? Is it really necessary for us to demean and trivialize an already heavily marginalized group for the sole purpose of disassociating ourselves from them? To uplift ourselves in the eyes of our peers? Or worse yet, for a laugh? It's shameful. It's hurtful. And it achieves nothing.

Young men are not the only guilty party here. Young women utter the phrase with as little thought or regard as our male counterparts, if not even less so. Are you so insecure in your sexuality that you feel the need to assert your heterosexuality to any and everyone, unsolicited? Please do everyone a favor and stop it. I'm sure many people do not attach any wrongdoing to the act of carelessly spewing out this phrase. But I think the time has come for us to hold ourselves and our peers accountable for the things that we and they say. Think about the true meaning of the words you allow to spill from you lips. Aim to do no harm; to others or to your own reputation. Like the old adage warns, "...be careful of your words, for they become your actions." The "no homo" thing is senseless. It alienates people unnecessarily. Take heed and think before you speak.

...Love, and Other Hooplah

How do you know when you're in love? How do you know that you're over someone? Are these even things that we can truly be even remotely cognizant of as they are happening to us? This blog is entitled "Coming to Terms: Life, Love, and Other Hooplah." Had to throw this spiel in sooner or later. People (and no, I am not going to name these "people" - in part because I have no clue who they are, but mostly because I want seem credible without actually doing the necessary research and having to cite reputable and legitimate sources --  deal with it)...but I digress. "People" say (note the use of quotations to take the burden of proof off of me) that EVERYONE deserves to be loved. Hm...last time I checked, the founding fathers said nothing about that...let me see: Life, Liberty, Pursuit of Happiness...in order to create a more perfect union...blah, blah, blah. Nope. Love is nowhere to be found in the US Constitution. (Then again, the founding fathers all owned slaves and probably beat/raped them regularly.) So, friends, from where doth this "lovely" ideal of free love derive? Who is to say that you deserve to be loved? Or for that matter, that I deserved to be loved? That we can cut and package it into a neat little package that any and everyone can have the option of picking up the nearest phone/telegraph/carrier pigeon, dialing a 1-800 number, and having it hand-delivered 3-5 days later in a USPS Flat Rate Box? What have you done to be deserving of love? Is being human just enough? First off, before I offend anyone (not that I'm really obligated to care due to the fact that you are reading my blog and I have not outlined any previous commitment to be non-offensive on here, but am operating within the understanding that as individuals we must all be held accountable for the things that we say), I do believe that everyone needs to feel love(d) in some capacity in order to connect with their own humanity. However, I do realize that others may argue that a person could just as easily die to become more attuned with their humanity since mortality is a defining factor in being human. And to them, I would concede the point while simultaneously raising another: therapy. Yes, in many cases it works. Continuing on (and speaking in romantic terms exclusively at this point), why do you deserved to be loved? 

What is it about you that makes you worthy of the almost-religious respect and adoration of another human being? Why should anyone pay more attention to you than any other person? To answer that question personally (gasp!) I would say I deserve to be loved because I love myself and I challenge someone to try to do it better :) Now, I have standards, of course. But on its most basic level, I deserve to be loved because I am ready to reciprocate the expectations that I have established for him. I want to be the loving wife of a loving husband (not right away...but maybe sooner than anyone [including me] ever thought). It's a scary thing when we allow ourselves to be completely honest with ourselves about the things we want, but it's time. No, I'm not actively looking for someone, but I'm not trying to be the third generation of lonely women in my family, either. I think acknowledging what it is that you want is the first step in attaining it. That said, I want to fall so hard that I can't get back up again (lawsuit, anyone?) 

• I want to trust again. 
• I want to meet your mother, and love her and have her love me! 
• I want to be inspired to write poetry and songs about you. 
• I want to get spiritual with you. 
• I want to laugh with you. 
• I want to learn with you. 
• I want to hold your hand in public. 
• I want to hold you hand when it's just us. 
• I want to occasionally fart on you (a real man could handle it). 
• I want to slow dance on Sundays with you. 
• Learn how to make your favorite foods. 
• Seduce you.
• Forgive you. 
• Lift you. 
• Inspire you. 
• Sweat with you. 
• Cry with you. 
• Breathe with you. 
• Wrap you in my love and protect you. 
• Read with you. Give back with you. 
• Take a stand with you. 
• Debate with you (and win). 
• Arm wrestle with you (and lose). 
• Grow with you. 
• Give you something to look forward to. 
• Keep it real with you. 
• Change the world with you. 

I want, quite simply, to love you if for no reason other than the fact that you love me. And I deserve that.